In most of the U.S. Roman Catholic churches, conservatives rule and liberals are in the closet. In this closet we find gay men and women, people who practice birth control, others who don't take most of the bible literally, believers in evolution, eccumenists, stem-cellers, the divorced, democrats and few community activists. It's a crowded closet these days. Most actually didn't really like it in the closet, and just walked out leaving the Church behind. Many still consider themselves Catholic however.
I decided to stay in the Church but became more introspective and less engaged. Rarely do I feel the Church affirms me. I know from personal contacts in the Church that many religious and laiety retain a liberal world view. I would describe this view as concerned with social justice, one who recognizes and names evil when it is seen, scientific truth reveals God's glory, charity, finding social and political solutions to those things that suppress liberty, being willing to stand up again oppression, anti-war, peace through community, the dignity of every human, the willingness to view the world through the eyes of the other, and having hope for the creation of a better world [through our own efforts and the grace of God).
Uncle Roger used to say the Church was only one hundred years behind the times. Still at her heart is the Eucharist, and in this is a constant source of renewal. How does Christ's love pour out on us through this mystery? How does it span time and space? I guess you either believe in Christ's divinity or not, and when you do believe then the mystery of the Eucharist is simply amazing.
A few Sundays ago our pastor spoke about Catholics experience and beliefs of Eucharist and those of other Christians. If you believe... If you believe that Christ was God, then you believe in transubstantiation of the bread into his body, wine into his blood. You patiently wait for the priest to clean the bowl and chalis, knowing even the crumbs then are part of this mystery. Crumbs of mystery... If we only could understand even a crumb of this mystery.
I enjoyed that sermon, so maybe attending Church is making me less liberal, more a believer in the fundamentals of our faith. I don't think that liberalism is truely reactionary by nature, defining itself by that which it rejects. I don't think I even do reject most of what the Church stands for or does. Unless something is being shoved down your throat, most of the time when it comes to the Church, I maintain a sense of obedience. But, it's not blind obedience. I need to think about it and if I can't support a position I decide whether it's more important to be fundamental to my position or to simply "hold" my position. Should I be fundamental to my position, I would have to decide whether it was important enough to seperate myself from the Church, that is, what's more important, my belief or obedience? I guess I would answer that by saying that I "hold" my belief and remain obediently a less than "good" Catholic but firmly authentic in my own skin.
God rest the soul of Edward M. Kennedy. Another role model dead. He'll be missed by me. Maybe it's time to become my own role model. I'm 54, so what the hell am I waiting for?
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